Thursday, July 30, 2015

My Inner Strength- Reminding myself to Shine

So long time blog followers would have realized I haven't written much in awhile. That's because I started losing a bit of myself I think. It started by chipping away at my soul, bit by bit. You think you're on solid ground, and then your solid foundation is ripped from beneath your feat and you're left with a happy fucker laughing his ass off that you've fallen.

I work more than the average person does, and that certainly had something to do with this downward spiral. Everything has submerged into one huge breakdown. When I moved to Ohio in 2011, my mother kept my dog (Kota) because I couldn't stand the thought of rehoming her. My idea was to come here, get on my feet, and I'd eventually get her back. However 4 years here and still were not financially stable enough to afford a dog, and Kota's health declined due to her environment and no vet care.

I decided to put Kota into a rescue after seeing how bad she was getting and knowing I couldn't do anything about it. It took her 4 months to heal from staff infections. And I definitely blame myself. My friends and family would have me not do that, but there is no one else to blame. Sometimes  a spade is a spade. I've had dogs my entire life, and I've realized something. None of them lived a natural long life in my care. So I am admitting I'm just not a good pet parent, and deciding not to get another dog. That hurts my heart. Because right now with what I'm going through, the love of a pet could really help.

Last Friday was especially hard when I got the message that Kota was adopted. While it's good that she will now live out the rest of her life being taken cared for and loved, I'm sad that it's not with me.

My health has also declined in recent months. I started to get frequent headaches that come and go. I wear sunglasses more often than not, even on cloudy days and loud noises is my own personal torture chamber.

June 29th I had a mini brain bleed. Neurologist are unsure why it happened. There is likely an underlying reason that still needs to be found out through tests.

For now I'm on migraine medication that's helping. While waiting in line at the pharmacy, a little lightening bug decided to land right in front of my face. Now if that isn't a sign I don't know what is.

Lighting bugs not very exciting as far as totems go, but they remind us that they have an inner strength that makes them shine. And that's what I've always had. No matter what, I've listened to my inner voice to help guide me.

 Throughout this year I've felt something was wrong, even when doctors were telling me it was nothing. Advocating for myself has been a big challenge. It's often hard for me to speak up for myself. I know that I have more challenges ahead. More decisions will need to be made. All I can do, is keep my inner shine. :)  

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Spring Celebration:Hiding the Goodies

Hello Everybody!

I bet you think I jumped off the face of the Earth. Well, I'm here.I decided to go offline for awhile. I'm still off most of the time. I did figure out I can make my phone a hot spot though. Which gives me email, FB and basic internet on my tablet. So good enough. 

Today we are celebrating Easter/Spring Equinox (So other family can be with us) with a little tradition my mother reminded me about. She use to hide our baskets in the house, sit back, and let us kids try to find them. I felt it was torture, she thought it was a morning of hilarity. 

I decided to write a little poem that I will recite to the kids just before I turn them loose in the house to hunt their prey. I hope you like it. 

Dear Children, 

I was reminded that your grandmother was devious. She sat and watched as her children got serious. We pleaded and pried, but no candy was in sight. Oh how I hated your grandmother, alright.
Now my children you see, I’m the mom and its time to play. I get to eat, watch and plan devious ways. For your candy is hidden, and I won’t tell you which way. 
So go find it I say. Look every which way. High and Low, Momma likes it this way. 
No pleading, no prying, no hints for you. Its more devious you see. Don’t forget to thank grandma too.
-Robin LC

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Imitation The Best Form Of Flattery?

They say imitation is the best form of flattery, except when that imitation is out to prey on the unsuspecting.

First let me say that I have been a minister since 2003 of the Universal Life Church. I was ordained through ULC.net, which is an official branch of the ULC headquarters located in Modesto, CA.

However when I first became ordained, it was only luck that I found the right ULC to become ordained under. Unfortunately there are those who do not uphold Kirby Hensley's vision of a free and ethical church. There are some who call themselves the "real" ULC that will try to charge you out the wazoo for ordination and bad mouth ULC.net, and Modesto. 

Recently I was contacted by a representative of a break-away Universal Life Group calling themselves a world headquarters located in Florida. This person has been banned from my blog. I just want to warn others out there who are seeking ordination to be careful. ULC.net is completely safe and if you have any questions, you can always email me. 

For more information read, "The Truth About Universal Life Church."

My email

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Biting my tongue till it bleeds.

For most of my adult life I have had cerain rules when it comes to conversation with coworkers. A couple of those rules is to not speak of religion or politics. That becomes difficult when your coworkers constantly talk about those topic. So here's how the conversation went down the other day.

Coworker= C
C1: You know the birth of Christ didn't even happen in December. They say it was likely in the spring. (I'm thinking, if you know this, why celebrate?)

C2: says, you know the holiday replaced another holiday. Some such Satanist holiday. (Big eye roll from me at this point.)

 At this time I was clearing my desk and preparing to leave work to travel to another work site. I needed to take my laptop. However, as much as I like to maintain control, I could not. I rather snipily said, as I walked out the door, that it is called Yule, and it is  Pagan, not satanic. To which point C2 says "are you sure?". I just wanted to laugh in his face and tell him exactly why I was sure. I did not though, because that would just make me their target.

So instead I walked out in a huff, only realizing belatedly that I walked out without my laptop. So i had to do the walk of shame back to the office lol oh well, I needed to say it. Sometimes idiodic comments can't be ignored no matter how much I bite my tongue.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Merry Yule To All

Hello good people,

I know I haven't written to you in awhile. I'm very busy with my new job and with life. We've had some car trouble lately, but otherwise my family is doing very well. We will actually have a good yule this year. We won't open presents till Xmas though so other family can be involved. How are you? Check in and let me know what is happening in your life.


Saturday, November 16, 2013

Separation of Church and Work Place

Years ago I came to the conclusion that religion and the work place just do not mix. I came to that conclusion because one of my co-workers was spreading lies about me and my beliefs. He almost got us both fired. So from then on I just refused to speak of religious beliefs (Neither my own nor anyone elses) in the work place. I also added politics on there for good measure.

Some of you know that I started a new job recently. I work at the local hospital in the medical records dept. The atmosphere of the office is not the greatest, and that is in part due to one lady whose whole life seems to revolve around her spiritual beliefs. Now I'm all for devotion, but if you must refer to your beliefs in almost every conversation, then it's a bit too much.

I recently asked members of my Pagan Fellowship Group how they deal with co-workers who can't seem to separate their spirituality from their workplace. Here are a few quotes.

I would quote my dad "never talk about sex, drugs, politics, or religion in mixed company its just rude". That usually shuts them up... ~ Chastity

I can be pretty ruthless, but I have a right to peace as much as anyone else. Sometimes you have to play hardball in order for people to get it that it's not okay to bully someone over their beliefs. ~ Kristy

It's best to just work and help each other, and then share beliefs while we break bread with people off-site or at their homes when invited, and try to make friends who care about the person more than their spiritual beliefs.  ~ULC Inter-tribal

 For myself, I have avoided speaking of religion, and that is what I will continue to do for now. But there will come a time when she will ask me a direct question about my beliefs. So, how do you deal with coworkers preaching at work?

Friday, October 18, 2013

It Can't Rain All The Time

Finally, after two years of searching I've found a job. I also think its a keeper. It's in the same field as my previous job, the pay is higher, but so is my commute distance. I was freaking out trying to find child care for my son, but I think I've figured something out. It may be short term, so we'll see.

All I know is that I report to my new job Monday, and I have somewhere for my son to be that day. One day and one step at a time right?

It feels like we're coming out of a massive storm that's just beginning to ease up. Anyway, I haven't time to write this out as eloquently as I normally would try to do. So I'll just give a sigh of relief and hope for the best come Monday.


Your comments encourage me to keep writing! Thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts with me.

Blessed Be,